Saludos!

It’s been a while, and a lot has happened. I want to thank everyone who has been following along despite the fact that I’m not as good as I should be at keeping you updated. That being said, I’ll continue with the update.

As you know (if you read my last post), last month I went on a mission trip to Tlajomulco, a city near Guadalajara. Even though I knew I would enjoy it more than I thought I would (so my expectations were high from the start), I didn’t think I would be as affected by it as I was. I evangelised, fed people, prayed for strangers, sang for worship, acted for skits, etc… and in doing so, I learned these things:

1. Don’t over think. Just be.

I don’t have it in me to do and be everything perfectly, no matter how hard I try or how determined I am or how well-prepared I may be. And that’s okay. I’m not here to make myself or my team or my school look good. I’m here to glorify the only One worthy of praise, and if I keep my focus on Him, then my slip-ups won’t matter in the grand scheme of things, and my mistakes are opportunities for the magnification of Christ, just as much as the things I do right. I learned that God made me the way He wanted, and whatever I don’t appreciate, I either developed in rebellion (anything that goes against God’s Word/ anything I’ve done apart from Him), or I have yet to trust Him with. The best I can do is to seek Him and be in His presence, to focus on His glory and planning. It’s okay to let go and just… be. Be in His presence. Be who He is calling me to be. Be a little uncomfortable sometimes. Be awkward, silly, useful, unsure, emotional – alive. In every moment, be alive, and aware that you’re here for a purpose, and be grateful for those very reasons – sometimes, I think they’re all that separates me from the dead and dying.

2. Make an effort. Really.

Gosh, how I wish I had put the same effort into the first week that I had put into the last week. I wish I had put more effort into the trip as a whole. I didn’t really understand the extent of the regret I would feel until after we were on our way home and I saw the “TEPIC” sign greeting us, and I forced myself to hold back tears of “have I really left that place? Is it really over?” I wish I had put more effort into my work, my Spanish skills, my worship, my leadership (goodness, my leadership), and my interactions with people. Those I’ll probably never properly meet, and those I should have invested in long before the crusade began. But because I can’t go back and change what I did or didn’t do, the best I can do now is to use it as a learning experience and try my best to carry it with me.

3. Short term =/= Insignificant.

Sometimes, short term relationships (referring to platonic friendships) are just as meaningful as the long term. I’ve always had an insatiable yearning for connection, and as a result, I often find myself avoiding certain people due to the feeling I get which tells me: this isn’t going to last. Of course, coming here to Mexico took every relationship I could potentially form and turned them into one huge boulder that barely fit in the pit of my stomach, and it was hard to swallow. The feeling of “this isn’t going to last” was inescapable. Unless I planned on staying here long-term, none of these people would be in my life longer than a year, and that put me on edge and made me feel a little empty inside. It scared me. I’m still trying to get over the fear, in all honesty. But in Tlajomulco, I met some new people, and I met some old ones as well – my classmates. For months, I kept to myself, endured awkward small talk, and stayed nestled in that nook whose slippery edges I had become familiar with – welcome, but out of place. For months, I did this to make sure I wouldn’t get too attached. But as I worked with them, ate with them, and worshipped with them, they crawled out of the boxes I placed them in, neatly labeled for my convenience, “extras/short-term acquaintances,” and planted themselves somewhere warmer and closer. It was slow enough not to feel fabricated, but quick enough to feel as if it caused me a kind of mild trauma. But I wouldn’t take it back, because they helped me grow, gently urged me out of my shell, and made me feel like I was home. Like I belonged. I forgot I was over 1,000 miles away from home, in a different country. It felt familiar. But saddening at the same time, because as they were all crying over the bittersweetness of leaving one another, I once again felt out of place, because I still wasn’t nearly as close to them as they were each other. But once again, I know now, and I’m investing in the people who are still here – still scared, but not weighed down anymore.

4. Put yourself out there.

For those who know me personally, you know I am not exactly what you would call a confident person. I hesitate. I doubt. I get scared sometimes. But if I don’t put myself out there, I’m not very likely to grow. I can have the best theories, sound theology, and pure intentions, but if I keep it in my head, and not in my heart and hands and on my sleeve, what good is it? If I don’t allow those things to manifest in my character, do they carry the same weight? What better way to prompt that manifestation than to extend my thoughts, love, and actions into the outside world by speaking, evangelising, and serving? For the unsure, this isn’t easy. And it doesn’t always turn out to be fun. Sometimes, you say or do the wrong thing, and sometimes people don’t want what you’re offering. You don’t always see results and you don’t always feel good about it, or accomplished. But God rewards the faithful.It’s not always fun, no. But it’s worth it, I promise.

5. Tejuino is the worst beverage man has ever concocted. Ever.

Seriously. Everyone here thinks it’s the ichor of the heavens, but it tastes horrible. I don’t know what exactly I was expecting from a drink composed mainly of fermented corn, ice, and lime juice, but I attempted to try something new and it backfired horrendously. Tejuino? More like tejuiNO.

Tlajomulco was amazing. I may be missing my last year at Love Packages, but as I predicted, God more than made up for it. In fact, He went beyond my expectations (they can never be high enough). I’m in awe – really. I just hope I can make it back there one day, knowing now what I didn’t know then.

That’s it for now! Next will be what I learned in Vanguard this semester – a list of a few of my favourite classes.

And just a heads up: I’ll be home June 27th, and I’m set to leave for Mexico again on July 11th. That’s two weeks of Miko in America. It’s been amazing down here, but of course, I’m excited to visit home for a couple of weeks to see my family and friends.

Ed:
Thank you so much for the ongoing love and support! It is greatly, greatly appreciated. I will definitely be making time to talk with you when I get back, sir! No doubt.
**(P.S – A big THANK YOU to you and your wife for letting your daughter come down here with Lex to bring me back home! I was giddy when I saw her name on the ticket receipts…)

Don’t forget to like, share, and comment, please! It means a lot to hear from you guys!