Encouragement – Miko in Mexico

I’m nearly finished with my year here in Mexico, meaning I’m almost done with Vanguard. It’s been quite a year, and it’s kind of crazy that I’m ending it where everyone else began. But somehow, it’s fitting.

I have been told more than once that it’s pretty obvious that I’m not here for the Vanguard curriculum – the most recent example being the young woman who grades my homework pulling me aside one day and telling me that based off of my participation in class and the work I turn in on homework and tests, I’m not here to gain knowledge (which isn’t to say that I haven’t learned a lot in my time here, because I definitely have). I have a pretty solid grasp on biblical concepts, and I have an understanding of how to apply those concepts to my everyday life. She told me that while she’s pretty sure I’m here for something else, she isn’t quite sure what that thing is.

I, myself, have known this since I enrolled in Vanguard – I didn’t come here with school in mind. I had always known that it would be more of a underlying thing. It seems to be setting the groundwork for what I’m supposed to be here doing. Some of you may remember, if you asked me about the school, that I had the mindset that I’m here for missions work, but the school was for me to keep grounded in the Word and to have the grounds to form my personal beliefs, beliefs that I hold conviction for, rather than the beliefs of someone else that I can merely regurgitate.

While it may seem like I’m discrediting my time in Vanguard, this was all to say the complete opposite: my time in Vanguard was/is critical for this season.

I realise that I haven’t done much that would count as mission work, and this is why: in the same way that I started Vanguard where everyone else finished, I’m preparing/being prepared for my own ministry in a conventionally backwards way. You often hear that people are called to other countries to be missionaries, not the other way around. But I came to another country to discover and develop my calling. And as backwards as it may seem, this season, being a season of pruning and refinement, was more for me and my development than it was for me to pour out and give.

But that’s going to change when I’m ready to come back.

I feel like I’ve been going forwards walking backwards this year – it explains why things have been hard (especially at first), why things have, at times, been unnervingly awkward for me up until recently, and why I have had such a hard time seeing where I am going to end up in the future. But I realise now, that even though I’ve been walking backwards, the Holy Spirit has been walking right beside me, guiding me. While I’m walking backwards, He’s facing forwards, and as long as I keep my eyes on Him, I’m okay. He helps me through the twists and turns, the winding of the road, the bumpy, broken places. Only He knows where we’re going and what’s ahead, and recently, He’s allowed me to glance back now and again, but He’s been pretty clear with me on one thing: I’m not going to be able to turn around until after I come back to America. While I’m here, I can see all the things I can do to help (the mission work I came here for), but only after I’ve walked past the opportunity. And yes, it hurts me, and I want to be able to come here and tell you all that I’m doing so much missions work, but it’s not that time yet.

Now that isn’t to say that I haven’t done anything missions related. I’ve helped in the church; I’ve helped in a few of the extensions; I went and evangelised downtown; I participated in the mission trip/crusade hosted by Vanguard – I’ve done mission work. But it wasn’t what I expected, and I’m sure it wasn’t what you all expected either. I thought I would come home after a year here and have crazy stories documented on this blog, that I could retell to my friends, and use as anecdotes for devotionals, and I would make myself and everyone I care about proud. I had expectations. I’m sure everyone did.

But God specialises in a lot of things, and breaking and exceeding expectations is one of those things. This year didn’t happen the way I thought it would, but that doesn’t mean it happened wrong. I’m more than pleased with this outcome, because there is more potential for growth now than I ever could have dreamt of on my own.

And I couldn’t have done it without Vanguard – I learned a lot, saw and experienced a lot (like what happens when people practice what they preach and follow what they learn in Vanguard), and met/formed connections very important people that will be part of my ministry in the future. Not to mention I was put in an environment where I needed to at least understand Spanish to succeed.

I’m excited to come back to Chicago, not only because I miss you guys, but also because I know that I’ll be finishing this season and starting a new one back in America, and I can’t wait to see how God will exceed my expectations when the next season comes around.

Hello beloved!

In What You’ve Missed Part 3, I mentioned very briefly the fact that we do devotionals in class on a regular basis. Most times, the devotionals are done by the pastors and other staff of the school, but sometimes they will pick on a student (or students) to share something with class. A few weeks ago, I was that trusted student. So, I’ve decided to share with you what I shared with my morning class, rewritten from the outline I wrote (the night before I had to present it).

Me (looking photogenic, as usual) and my translator, Saulo (translating, as usual). Many thanks to him!

Like many of you, the calling I received to come here meant leaving home. And though my friends and family and I would discuss “Miko in Mexico” with light-hearted words of fun and excitement, I knew that part of that was to cover up the reality of – “okay, what am I doing?” Because though I hid it all behind a veil of smiles and nods and “yeah, I’m pretty nervous, but I’ll be okay,” I couldn’t change the fact that the deeper I dug and the harder I looked, there was fear. Because unlike the rest of you (except Jonah, obviously), I had to not only leave home, but I had to travel 1,726 miles (2,778 kilometers) to leave behind an entire culture and way of life. The culture and language that I had spent over 18 years being wholly dependent on – to express myself and my thoughts and feelings, to shape my future and make sense of my past, to understand who I am and to convey that to others – all of it would carry a significantly lesser meaning once I crossed the border that separates my land from yours. If any of you took the time to visit my website (thank you, if you did!), you may remember a post I wrote on feeling alone and out of place.

Please, don’t get me wrong – I love Mexico! I love you guys! This miniature “woe is me” rant was all to say: this is what it is to be saved, to be Christian. Well, it’s one part of the incredibly magnificent whole, at least.

My analogy will be drawn from what Pastor Alex taught Tuesday evening, where I was reminded that I am not merely a “fixed,” or a “remastered” creation. I am new. Here’s the picture that was painted for me: when you visit a country in which you intend to spend an extended length of time, what is the most critical thing you must do? Hint – it isn’t to learn their language or to adopt their culture as fast as you can.

The first, most critical thing you must do is to take your 18, 20, or 30+ years of your primary, ingrained culture and way of life… and throw it away. En serio. Throw it away, burn it, scrub it out of your skin and your clothes and don’t look back. Take the phrase “uncultured swine” to new heights and leave yourself with nothing to cling onto but what’s in front of you. Because honestly, there’s no way you can realistically rid yourself completely of the culture you were given as a child and carried into your adult years. I mean, you still need to talk. But the point is, if you set that goal for yourself, you’ll find it easier to learn the foreign language and culture.

When we become Christians, regardless of how young or old we were, the term we use to describe ourselves is “born again.” Why? Because we are new creatures. Why? The quick answer – the Bible says so, and if you’re here, you most likely are under the belief that the Bible is the Word of God, so in other words, God says so. And I can’t recall a situation in which God said something and His Word returned void. So when God says we are new, it doesn’t mean we will be new; it doesn’t mean we might become new, or that novelty is reserved only for a chosen few. We are new – it’s part of who we are. It’s something of a promise.

So the parallel is this – when we become Christians, we are called to live differently. And because He says we are new, we should have no trouble doing just that. We become “uncultured,” in the sense that we have completely abandoned our carnal way of living in exchange for a life guided solely by the Spirit. We become “little Christs,” or “Christians.” In other words, we cannot keep referencing our old way of life. We no longer live in our flesh, but we live in the Spirit – the rules that applied to our former state have no place in our new, and vice versa. Because though His death and resurrection happened over 2,000 years ago, Christ took our old, carnal, and destructive lives and threw them away, burned them, scrubbed them out of our skin and our clothes and told us not to look back. Again, it’s a bit of an exaggeration. We can’t fully let go of our pasts, but we can rid ourselves of the dependence we have on them.

This doesn’t just apply to those of us with “shady” or troubled pasts, either. You don’t have to have been a drug dealer/user, a sex addict, victim of abuse, or a thief to have a powerful claim of liberation from your past. Because the truth is, we have all been liberated from the same things. Not only in the sense that “I had a good childhood, so I was never raised into a life of crime as a result of being from a broken home, so in a way I have been saved from that.” While this way of thinking is true and does what a testimony should do (give glory to God), it isn’t the only way of looking at it. Think about the promises in the Bible. They are things God has spoken over us. He tells us that we are now conquerors, co-heirs, alive, forgiven, and free in Christ Jesus. But why are these things written in the Bible? Why does God even say this?

Because we are not any of these things by nature. On the contrary, because of the Fall, we are the complete opposite. Regardless of who we are or where we come from, we are born defeated. We are born lowly orphans. We are born dead, even. We are born indebted with the weight of our own wrong-doings, and perhaps most tragically, we are born in bondage. But when the work of the cross was finished and Christ defeated death, God spoke, and He calls us free. Worthy, righteous, loved, His. And He calls us new.

Christ paid a hefty price for these titles. And I know these words are all painfully worn out. I know we are all probably struggling with things and we have all heard people tell us – “put it all in God’s hands,” and “remember, our battles have all been won on the cross.” But it’s true. Please, focus on God’s promises, on His words. We are not our struggles. In fact, we aren’t even the struggles we have overcome. By all means, look back at what God has brought you through and use it as a reminder of His goodness and grace and mercy. Glorify Him. But don’t stay there. Move on. Remember that we are nothing more than what He says we are and what He’s called us to be. If you feel overwhelmed by circumstance – you’re an overcomer. It applies in every situation. God doesn’t deal with things as they arise. He’s already dealt with our struggles fully. And we may go through life feeling like we are doing everything wrong at every turn. But it’s important to note that it isn’t our job to do everything right – we’ve already failed at this, honestly. All this self-imposed responsibility is going to do is draw us away from Him. Our job is to live for Christ alone, and in turn He supplies us with the strength we need to live His purpose. Speak out and declare His words over your life and you will live them out.

There you have it. Thank you all for your support and love! Don’t forget to ask me questions! Until next time – Dios los bendiga!

P.S – Please don’t forget to donate! Every little bit helps! Muchas gracias!