It’s almost that time of year – the time of new beginnings, of resolutions. People all around the country are making lists of what they would like to do this year: lose weight, eat better, go skydiving, etc. It’s a time of celebration after a time of stress and anxiety. Last year, I was among those who were making their New Years’ resolutions, and in a way, I am among them now.

In two days, I will be starting my New Year off in a way I could have never expected. These next couple of days will consist of packing my bags for a year-long trip to Mexico. They will be full of mental preparation and goodbyes. And though I may make it seem like it doesn’t faze me as much as one may think it should, these last few weeks have been incredibly hard. For some reason, it has taken me an unfortunate amount of time to get into an appropriate mindset. A mindset that prompts the realisation that my days in America are dwindling, and I should have been preparing months in advance.

If I’m honest, these past few weeks have been full of subconscious denial – the knowledge of my departure didn’t usher the necessary motivation, so I didn’t feel the need to put a packing list together, or to use my time as wisely as I possibly could. But I still felt the stress. I felt the early onset loneliness that came with knowing I would be leaving the familiar – I would be leaving my family and friends, the people that loved me, and knew what I was comfortable with. So I crammed as much as I could into the days I had left, and it’s taken a lot out of me. I ended up leaving myself with very little time to get anything done, and even less time to rest and recharge.

Though, in a way, I think I see how God has been able to work my procrastination into something good (if you can bring yourself to believe it). Through a seemingly small series of revelations, I’ve become increasingly aware of why this trip is necessary, and the reality of how much I’ve grown in the years leading up to this journey has been placed in the forefront of my mind. And now I’m more motivated than ever to be more intentional in following God’s plan for my life. The insecurities I’ve had concerning my faith are no longer holding me down, but rather, they present me with goals I can realistically hope to reach. And due to the stress which has caused me to draw closer to my Father, I’ve come to realise that, while I still have an entire lifetime of growth ahead of me, I’m not as much of a wreck as I once thought. If I can trust God with an entire year of my life in a place that is completely foreign and unfamiliar, then I will certainly learn to trust Him with anything and everything else.
And that is my New Year’s resolution: to trust in Him fully and to live out that trust in everything I do. To accomplish this will be to set up the most secure foundation on which to live my life, and will allow Him to use me in ways I could never imagine. And what better goal to strive for in this New Year?