I’ve never been very good at starting things, and this blog is certainly no exception. It’s not from a lack of trying, I just find that beginnings are always the hardest part of anything. Regardless, I will start at the beginning.

Back in 2011, the youth group I attend at my home church, Church In The Word, went on a mission trip to Ecuador, and it was crazy awesome and God-filled and incredible … so I heard.

Despite all of our hard work, my brother, Parrish, and I were only able to raise enough money for one of us to go. Though I never expressed it aloud, I thought for sure that I would be the one to go. Ever since my family started going to church regularly, I had been praying that God would reveal Himself to me in a big way, and this mission trip seemed like the perfect way for Him to do just that. Like a 13-year-old who wanted desperately to get her way, I prayed and prayed that my mom would do the “right thing” and send me on the mission trip. It didn’t matter how much I prayed – I still kept getting a feeling that my brother needed to go much more than I did, and my mother, when she made her decision, felt the same way.

My sadness dissipated into a calmness, a peace, and when Parrish finally came home, I was somehow still blessed. The stories he brought with him were incredible and inspiring, and his whole demeanor had changed. He had gone from being skeptical about everything to being a 14-year-old who took it upon himself to minister to not only his family, but to his friends and teachers at school. My hunger for living a Godly life grew to new heights.

Unfortunately, in the years to come, I was not given the chance to pursue Him in the way I wanted, and I “settled” for pursuing Him in other ways – I read my Bible more, I stayed open about my faith even in the face of ridicule, and I prayed all the “dangerous” prayers they presented to us during altar calls, reminding myself to pray those same prayers at home. One such prayer was to be called out of my comfort zone, and I suppose God is finally answering it.

After months of trying to decide what to do with my life after graduating high school a year early, I was given a confirmation that this decision I was trying to make had to be answered with a very simple, yet extremely terrifying, leap of faith. No matter how I tried to mold it, this confirmation was very obviously pointing to the option I was the most scared of: strapping on my Christian Missionary boots and going to Mexico for a year.

By myself.

Sort of. I’ll be with Pastor Tony Simon and his crew from La Fuente Ministries, doing Bible school, and helping out in any way I can for the time I’m there.

We’re still trying to iron out the (pretty big) details, and we don’t have too many of the details worked out yet. The truth is, I’m just a teenager with inadequate Spanish skills trying to be obedient, and even though it all seems a little scary (read: I’m absolutely petrified), I am confident in Him. This is just the beginning, and beginnings are always the hardest part.